Messages from Young Adults

Sex and the Sabbath

sex1Once upon a time God said let there be light and during that same week He said let us make man in our image and they did, and he told the man and the woman be fruitful and multiply. The following day He decided to rest.

So Connection #1: Sex and the Sabbath were both created by God in the Garden of Eden.

Now let’s go a little bit further into why. Why did God create sex? Sex was created for a two-fold purpose the first is for procreation and the second for intimacy. Gen. 1:28 says “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” that is the procreation angle.

Have you ever wondered why God made sex pleasurable and not boring? “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (24 – 25). Sex is an integral part of marriage, God in his wisdom created body parts that mesh and fit so well that two become one and this isn’t just physically this verse hints at an emotional intimacy, an emotional connection.

Why did God create the Sabbath?
Does God get tired? No. He does not. So why does Gen 2: 1 -3 says that he rested from his work. Could it be that God rested on the Sabbath as a template for man? Here’s how I envision it, the Trinity is chilling up in heaven by the sea of glass and God the Father says let’s make man in our image and then after 5 days of speaking things into existence He forms man with His hand and puts a bowtie on creation by spending the 7th day just chilling and bonding with man. Focusing on our relationship with Him, he does this all in an effort to foster intimacy between man and God. Check out Exodus 20: 8 – 12 and Isa. 58: 13 – 14, it’s about relationship pure and simple.

Connection #2: Sex and the Sabbath were created by God to enhance relationships.

Unfortunately for us, Eve ate the fruit, sin moved in and all that was pure became corrupted. Sex which was previously an expression of true love, used to enhance the relationship with a couple was distorted. Adultery, incest, masturbation, homosexuality are all distortions of this gift that predate our technological advances such as porn and are in scripture (Gen. 19:5, 36; Rom. 1: 26 – 27). The Sabbath a gift from God was forgotten and replaced to suit the needs of man. Its purpose watered down and diluted to the point that the Creator’s intention is obscured by the devil.

Connection #3: Both have been distorted and now are being used by the devil to destroy our earthly and heavenly relationships.

What blows my mind is that the church is now complicit in this deception. Our response to the devil’s misrepresentation is secrecy. In an attempt to appear pure and holy we lock sex in a box and feed our children cookie cutter answers. It’s sad that children are being born out of wedlock, teenagers are having sex in church basements, adults are engaged in affairs and all we do is cut off the leaves of tree by disfellowshipping the outwardly guilty without addressing the root cause. Some of our churches seem too scared to even mention the word SEX. Instead of being real with our children and friends about our experience with this gift, misrepresented by the world, we feed them absolute statements about AIDS, babies and guilt. We do this so well that our children rebel taste the forbidden fruit don’t get AIDS, babies or a boatload of guilt and so they continue to indulge in this sin that destroys the foundation of every healthy relationship.

We dress the Sabbath the same way; we throw out names like Constantine and dates like 324 A.D. without sharing with our friends and children the immense joy of just chilling with God for a full 24 hours. This gift from God we pound into their heads with a list of dos and don’ts, we legislate what can and can’t be done on the Sabbath instead of focusing on the relationship we are suppose to have with our Creator. Our kids don’t get it and have become masters of disguise, coming to church yet ever watching their clock, counting down the seconds till the sun sets. Our friends don’t get it because we either wear it as a badge of privilege reserved for the elect, or a burden or a item on our checklist to ensure we reach heaven.

We wear our abstinence and sabbath keeping like a badge of merit instead of a symbol of grace and Christ’s unending love.

Connection #4: Misrepresented by church

Sex done right is about honesty and freedom. Not backseats of cars, or dimly lit motel rooms. It is definitely not about broken condoms or morning after pills. It isn’t about seductive perfume or suggestive clothing. It is about being naked and unashamed with your spouse.

Sabbath done right is about honesty and freedom. Not two hour church services with frowns on our faces or looking over our shoulders when we stop to buy gas. It isn’t defined by the clothes we choose to wear to elicit a response from fellow believers about our status or class; it isn’t about the fake smiles on our faces plastered to portray a peace we don’t truly feel. It is about being spiritually naked and unashamed in front of God who loves us beyond what you can imagine.

Connection #5: It’s about honesty and freedom.

Sex done right isn’t a one night stand. It needs foreplay that begins when you wash the dishes in the sink and take out the trash. It starts with flowers when she least expects it and grows with 2 a.m. discussions about your fears. It’s about commitment.

Enjoying the Sabbath isn’t a one day stand either, it doesn’t begin when the sun sets on Friday. That’s just the cherry on the cake. A good Sabbath starts on Sunday during your personal devotions and continues all through the week as you make a choice to surrender to His will.

Connection #6: It’s about commitment

I think I’ll stop right here.

So yeah, it’s the Sabbath. Embrace it, not because it makes you part of a special group of Christians called the remnant but because it draws you closer to Him to the one who created you, a sexual being, in His image. Get lost in the loving Creator, be it in a secluded park, or in an empty church, or with a friend in a hospital or at home with a bed ridden parent. Get lost in Him and rediscover what it means to worship Him on this wonderful day.

‘Cuz He created everything beautiful including you.

Later y’all


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Comments

  • Tosin said:

    Did you know that the Jews actually believe that Sabbath and sex go hand in hand? It’s one of the 613 Mitzvah, and is actually a double Mitzvah (blessing) if you do it on the Sabbat.

  • Shane Hilde said:

    Christian porn? Is that really how we want to attract people to this topic?

  • Oluwakemi (Author) said:

    @ Tosin: okay i need you to send me more info on this ASAP or better yet get it from your father-in-law and feel me in

    @ Shane: I apologize if the picture is offensive, I googled pictures for Christianity and Sex and this is one of the most kosher ones i saw, others had graphic images. My goal was not to draw people to the topic with the use of a picture. Instead it was to show how our thoughts contrast sometimes with reality and the oxymoron that exists in the church when we approach the Sabbath and Sex. It was to show that even those these words may appear offensive, in reality God created both Sex and the Sabbath, so why do we treat one less holy that the other?
    Hopefully you were able to get past the picture and read the post in its entirety. Have a good day.

  • Zipporah said:

    I like the way this topic has been handled.to some extend sabbath is real burden’g many christian.let it be a personal attachment with God than a routine

  • Shane Hilde said:

    @Oluwakemi,

    I don’t want to belabor the choice of graphic for the article, so I’ll just make these last few comments.

    1. There is a difference between pornography and sex, which can easily be demonstrated by looking at their definitions.

    a. pornography – printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

    b. sex – sexual activity, including specifically

    Attempting to associate pornography with Christianity, shows an insensitivity to the connotative meanings surrounding the word “pornography.” There is absolutely nothing connotatively or denotatively positive about about the word in relation to Christianity.

    2. The adage “A picture is worth a thousand words” needs to be considered too. Graphics, in many ways, are more powerful than words. Despite the authors intentions, the graphic has little to do with the article, which is about the Sabbath and sex. The thesis is unclear, but I get the sense sex and the Sabbath were both created by God, distorted by the devil, misrepresented by the church, and that they’re really about honesty, freedom, and commitment.

    You intended to “show that even those these words [sex and Sabbath] may appear offensive, in reality God created both Sex and the Sabbath, so why do we treat one less holy that the other?”

    However, I wasn’t talking about that. I was referring to the choice of graphic. God didn’t create pornography. In short, the graphic was a poor choice because of its offensive, immoral connotations being associated with Christianity.

  • Anonymous said:

    @Shane: xxxchurch.com – the website that appears in the graphics is a Christian ANTI-porn website that works to help those who struggle with real addictions. It is not immoral and ought not to be offensive…

  • Rita said:

    Hi Kemi, I love this analogy and the discussion on sex. Thanks for sharing. I might take some tips from here as I continue my write up on premarital sex. However I have some reservations on the paragraph “Sex done right is about honesty and freedom. Not backseats of cars, or dimly lit motel rooms. It is definitely not about broken condoms or morning after pills. It isn’t about seductive perfume or suggestive clothing…”

    Sex is intended for pleasure between man and wife. I may choose to have sex with my husband at the backseat of a car or in a dimly lit motel room if that is where we find ourselves. I may also choose to arouse my husband with seductive perfume and suggestive clothing. it is not about the place and not necessarily how (unless there is abuse/force/offensive methods) but between who…which the last statement of that paragraph rightly points out “It is about being naked and unashamed with your spouse”.

  • Oluwakemi (Author) said:

    @ Rita: thanks for stopping by. I agree with you. There is nothing wrong with having sex with your spouse in the aforementioned areas or in the listed attire. Dimly lit motels are normally associated with affairs and one night stands and backseats are normally associated with high school kids with a curfew it was to this that I was referring. Thanks for clearing it up and making it plain.

    @ Anon: :)

    @ Shane: I apologize if the graphic offended you, as previously stated that was not my intent. I have to admit I am not blessed with the graphic/visual arts gifts, so the possible offense was not even imagined by me.

    @ Zipporah: I have to confess that at times I get caught up in boxing up the Sabbath into a routine and checklist and working on this article has helped remind me of the relational side to the Sabbath.

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