Messages from Young Adults

Party of 1

It’s three o’clock on Friday afternoon when things are winding down at work, the professor’s lecture is growing stale, and your mom is phoning you from the grocery store to find out if you’ll be home for Sabbath lunch tomorrow. That time of the week we all crave after an average week sprinkled with ups and downs. Sabbath morning the church door opens without an invitation for anything but the bulletin announced monthly potluck. Rubbing your tummy you think, “why didn’t I just go home to ma’s?”

Or how about when you have some down time and your friends invite you to a function you can’t bare to find yourself. You have to turn down the offer and murmer some sort of explanation that maybe they’ll accept without forever crossing your name off the evite list. Instead, you find yourself at home watching a movie or cuddled on the couch with a book.

These moments alone are cherished…some day for most of us, these times will be only a figment of our past. Making reservations for a party of 1 will always get you funny looks, but learning to live with yourself is an essential part of our development. Living single is arguably the best time for spiritual growth. In a party of 1 there are fewer distractions, yet more distractions of another kind. It is easy to fall into a trap of depression if there isn’t a time for community. It is even easier to stray if our party of 1 doesn’t include our #1 companion.

So I haven’t stated anything you probably don’t already know, but my question is…what makes those who leave leave and those of us who stay stay? How do we practically enjoy the vibrant single life without hiding behind the solemn door of subtle spiritual depression? I have my theoretical ideas, but would like to hear your commonsensical approaches to surviving the Party of 1 phase.


  • Rene said:

    That made me think. Its all how you look at it; be it that we are siblings I must critique. 5 Ideas:
    1) The person outside of the crowd is not the party of 1; he is in the party of 2.
    2) The party of 1 can’t coexist with the party of 2 because the party of 2 can’t be divided.
    3) Those who leave are the party of 1; they are the real loners.
    4) Why should we be what everyone else is? They aren’t happy!
    5) For many people this is hard, but enjoy being different.
    Hopefully I created confusion. Now think and meditate in the party of 2. ‘Happiness is only what you make of it!’ Get interested in the WORD and embrace the party of 2!

  • Lionel said:

    I think this is the most beautiful time in the world. A time to sit in your very own “party of two” – thanks Rene – and learn from the teacher without any interruptions. It’s a time where we each have a time to focus on understanding our true purpose and meaning for being here on earth at this time. It’s a time for dividing every scripture so that we won’t find ourselves incompetent of leading others to the truth we find so dear and, most importantly, the One in our party who is the reason for that truth!

    Now, with all that being said, a “party of two” can’t be the only party you attend during this “party of one” phase. We also have to understand that a community of like-minded individuals is as important as the time we spend alone with our “party of two” counterpart. Matter of fact, He encourages us to build healthy relationships, share our experiences and talks with Him, provide strong shoulders, have wholesome fun, and be accountable with those other individuals, while still being exclusively His. So, even though you’re technically in a “party of one”, don’t forget your “party of two” partner wants and accepts “the party of three or more” as long as He is invited along for the event! Holla!


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