Messages from Young Adults

Marriage

How to love someone now and forever
By Neema Okal

Studies done have proven that latterly, its very hard for couples to keep the love burning especially in marriages. There is a saying by modern youths ‘marriage is the grave burying all love”. So how does one explain this kind of thinking? Personally, I come from Africa where marriage is regarded as something very Important in ones life and is regarded as sacred. Most of the youths we know of today have had long time centered thinking of fornication and while in bed, only four minds come into play each of them thinking of how to make love and fornicate again.

When God created Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, the woman was taken from a mans rib. This describes the reason as to why marriage has always been ordained by God. Love is something that goes behind the skin; it is something that you feel when you are with that special someone. So why have people changed it’s main meaning? Are we this selfish that we seem to forget what’s its main purpose was from the beginning?

Have been in relationships a few times of my life and every time I could not get what I wanted from it, I would always get out. Having a relationship and making mistakes in the past have always taught me what is more important in an affair that I want to have and hoping to have it last ‘till death do us part’. This alone is enough for me to avoid the constant fights, quarrels; conflicts that arise in relationships making them not last especially in marriages.

Appreciation is something each and every couple should regard of one another. The Bible states that a woman was created from a man as a helper. As such, a woman should have respect for the man while the man should love the woman just the same way God loves the church. When we look at couples, they stay with each other most of the time, eat, sleep, cook, do shopping, share happiness and sadness and even feed the children together. Since this is something that calls for a lot of attention, it would be very helpful if the man and woman appreciated each other and that’s why you find them calling each other sweetheart or honey.

Forgiveness is the second thing that we need to look into in order to keep the love alive. The Bible states that we should forgive seventy times seven. So why is it so hard for us to forgive our spouses? None of us is perfect, we are bound to make mistakes everyday, and learning how to forgive one another will free us from most problems we incur. Trust is something that two people should cultivate the moment they bound themselves into a relationship, imagine it is you and no one else. Infidelity has been sighted as the number one cause of breakages among couples. Once the vows people made to each other have been broken, there is no forgiveness. And before marriage, it seems each and every one of us has committed a sexual act making us guilty. If one is able to forgive themselves for this act, why not forgive your partner?

Finally empathy, being sympathetic with each other is the finally thing that will keep the love afloat. True love is a gift given to us by God and we should cherish it. When two people are fully infused with sympathy, the heavens are in harmony. That was why Shakespeare said, “When love speaks, the voice of all Gods make heaven drowsy with the harmony.” After marriage a husband and wife in everyday life, on every occasion, at all times must cooperate and be united so that the two are really one. Both must always keep this idea, “I must give what is my own to him or her. I must feel that his or her delight is my own.” You must know that whatsoever you seek for yourself, then you fall from love. A proverb holds that “To be wife and lover is hardly granted to the Gods above.”
Love after marriage becomes much deeper and sympathetic. Whenever there is pleasure between a couple they love all in all; whenever there is sorrow or sadness between them there is sympathy for each other. They confound their enemies and delight their friends. They have the same good feelings. The husband will feel that, “It is not beauty but fine qualities that keep a husband.” The wife also feels that a woman’s best possession is a sympathetic husband. In women, sympathy begets love; in men, love begets sympathy; and all husbands will feel that of all the paths that lead to a wife’s love, sympathy is the straightest.


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Comments

  • Janice A. Becca (Author) said:

    With all that goes into a marriage, you’d think we’d start couple’s counseling after month one of going steady…

    This week I found out about two couples getting married, and I’m not confident God is the bedrock foundation of either relationship. The thing is – it’s not like these people haven’t talked healthy Christian relationships before.

    How do we keep from becoming “crazy-in-love” and losing sight of the fact that marriage is forever and that’s HUGE?!?

  • Patricia said:

    I am an adventist who is not an example and i am in love with a catholic guy who is a very good christian.
    How could such kind of marriages be?

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