When Reality Says Hi

Philip — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:36:06 +0000

There comes a time in life when important choices are made. These choices will affect how we relate to each other. These choices build barriers, choices that can tear down old walls that separated us. What must we do when seeking in prayer and counsel of others, who we considered as Godly role models when growing up, now seem to have become agnostic?

Reaching for the past, friends long lost seem feel like they have been missing the same reality of life that we once enjoyed growing up. What choices did we make that made us drift away from these friendships? What choices did we make to reach where we are now?

Now we stand Years ahead in time. Almost ready to stretch our limits, feeling as though nothing can stop us. It seems like we have all the world in our hands. Thinking back to times we shared, the dreams we had, places we wanted to go, do we even think that we will be able to do all of that? A choice never affects the past, it affects only the future.

Generations past say there is nothing they can do to make things better as the choices they have made have not made things better for them. Now we stand at the brink of a crucial choice that affects how we will choose to make or break the way we live our life in the future. Who do we plan to live for? What choice did we make to live in this world?

Someone chose for us to live. There is nothing we can do about that. But then we have choice on whether we choose to live, whom we live with, how we live, why we live and whom we choose to let live. Did we make a choice that hurt someone else? Did we make a choice that killed somebody?

What is the power that choice has that we should be so aware of what we do? As children we made some choices that seemed to be because “Daddy said I could” or “Mommy said I could”. Today we stand by ourselves. How are the choices we make affecting our sphere of influence? What has someone done to become or going to do because of the choice we made in words, actions, appearance, or just simply being around them? What choices have we made for people we care about? What choices have we made for the temptations we face?

We still have a choice no matter what situation we are in. Are we willing to bare the consequence for the choices we made, the good and the bad? Are we willing to choose by ourselves or by the flow that is around us?

I pray in the choices we make will be with ” Trust in the LORD with all [our] heart and lean not on [our] own understanding; in all [our] ways acknowledge him, and he will make [our] paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Adventists + Dating // A few resources…

Philip — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:13:22 +0000

Every human being has been created by God in a unique way. Each person walks down an individualized path that no other person can experience. Despite these differences, there are similar circumstances all will encounter. For this reason, humans inherently share information with each other so they can learn to avoid mistakes. Society is slowly changing – no longer are humans learning from each other in certain areas of life. Rather, they are trying to discover things on their own. This often causes them to repeat the same mistakes others have made. Many people could experience a more fulfilling life if they would only learn from others’ mistakes and move forward, equipped to succeed and accomplish more. Only a few decades ago, a person’s parents had a say in who their spouse would be. Now, presumably because people are making these decisions independently from their families, their relationships don’t seem to last very long. As a result, it seems that commitments are very low and many people are not willing to take certain risks to make their relationships better.

Many of us are young Christians growing spiritually, but there could always be something that may hinder our approach to relationships. In this day and age, God has given us lots of guidance through godly men and women who have written several resources on this topic. One can learn significantly through watching or listening to sermons and reading books and articles related to relationships and dating. It’s also very important to find a good Christian family (if not your own) that can mentor you in regards to relationships. You will gain wisdom, knowledge and experience on ways to manage issues that you might might have to handle.

Below is a list of helpful resources that provide different perspective on relationships.

Books:

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Boy Meets Girl:Say Hello to Courtship

Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World

By Joshua Harris
All three of these books are written by Joshua Harris, a pastor and speaker. In each book, he provides insight into the many issues we face in today’s society. He discourages recreational dating and challenges us to serve each other by protecting our purity. He challanges each person to refrain from pursing romantic relationships or activities until God has prepared both them and their life partner and to use their singleness to work for Him to the best of their ability.

Adventist Home

Messages to Young People

By Ellen G. White
These two books, written by Ellen White, are a compilation of timeless messages, advice, and instruction. They strongly encourage a person to experience a better walk with Jesus Christ.

Wild at Heart:Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul

Captivated: Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

By John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge
The authors of these two books, John and Stasi Eldredge, challenge both men and women to embrace their masculinity and femininity respectively. Readers of these books will understand the unique desires of the opposite sex.

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control

By Elisabeth Elliot
This book was written by Elisabeth Elliot and her experience in dating. She reveals lots of wisdom and challenges each of us to surrender everything to God, including all of our desires.

When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships

By Eric and Leslie Ludy
The concept of letting God write your love story is not about legalistic rule-making. Even though one may be driven by sensual passion, rules and regulations cannot save you from temptation or bad decision-making. Authors Eric and Leslie Ludy show how the only way for God to write your love story is by having a love relationship with Him first.

Every Young Man’s Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation

Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World

By Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker
These books, written by Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn, and Fred Stoeker, provide guidance in battling with our minds. In a world where sexual images and jokes crowd into our minds, how is it possible to fight the battle to remain sexually pure? The books are straight to the point, yet graphically descriptive. They are full of scripturally supported sound Biblical advice.

Pre-Marriage Questions: Getting to “Really Know” Your Life-Mate-To-Be (Heart to Heart Series)

By Bobb and Cheryl Biehl
Bobb and Cheryl Biehl have written this book in a very interesting format. The entire book contains nothing but questions that are conversation starters for you and your significant other. Together you can sit down and discuss the questions. You may not agree on all of them, but that’s okay. This exercise will give you a better understanding of the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. It is meant for people who are seriously dating or engaged.

Cracking the Communication Code

by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Lack of proper communication is one of the reasons why many relationships start out with problems. This book is a guide on how men and women in a relationship can learn to speak to each other in language they can distinctly understand – respect for him, love for her.

Audio:

Audioverse.org has a few series on relationships. Look for the speakers Don Macintosh, Phil Mills, and Alan and Nicole Parker

Video:

Laugh your way to a Better Marriage

By Mark Gungor
You might recognize Mark Grungor from the YouTube series where he explains the differences between men’s and women’s brains. This series is an extremely hilarious and is practical six-hour seminar on marriage. Although geared towards married couples, many of his principles can be applied for single or dating couples. You can also find this series in book format. Visit www.laughyourway.com for more info.

Counseling: