Adventists + Dating // A few resources…
Every human being has been created by God in a unique way. Each person walks down an individualized path that no other person can experience. Despite these differences, there are similar circumstances all will encounter. For this reason, humans inherently share information with each other so they can learn to avoid mistakes. Society is slowly changing – no longer are humans learning from each other in certain areas of life. Rather, they are trying to discover things on their own. This often causes them to repeat the same mistakes others have made. Many people could experience a more fulfilling life if they would only learn from others’ mistakes and move forward, equipped to succeed and accomplish more. Only a few decades ago, a person’s parents had a say in who their spouse would be. Now, presumably because people are making these decisions independently from their families, their relationships don’t seem to last very long. As a result, it seems that commitments are very low and many people are not willing to take certain risks to make their relationships better.
Many of us are young Christians growing spiritually, but there could always be something that may hinder our approach to relationships. In this day and age, God has given us lots of guidance through godly men and women who have written several resources on this topic. One can learn significantly through watching or listening to sermons and reading books and articles related to relationships and dating. It’s also very important to find a good Christian family (if not your own) that can mentor you in regards to relationships. You will gain wisdom, knowledge and experience on ways to manage issues that you might might have to handle.
Below is a list of helpful resources that provide different perspective on relationships.
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Boy Meets Girl:Say Hello to Courtship
Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
By Joshua Harris
All three of these books are written by Joshua Harris, a pastor and speaker. In each book, he provides insight into the many issues we face in today’s society. He discourages recreational dating and challenges us to serve each other by protecting our purity. He challanges each person to refrain from pursing romantic relationships or activities until God has prepared both them and their life partner and to use their singleness to work for Him to the best of their ability.
Messages to Young People
By Ellen G. White
These two books, written by Ellen White, are a compilation of timeless messages, advice, and instruction. They strongly encourage a person to experience a better walk with Jesus Christ.
Wild at Heart:Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
Captivated: Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman’s Soul
By John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge
The authors of these two books, John and Stasi Eldredge, challenge both men and women to embrace their masculinity and femininity respectively. Readers of these books will understand the unique desires of the opposite sex.
Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control
By Elisabeth Elliot
This book was written by Elisabeth Elliot and her experience in dating. She reveals lots of wisdom and challenges each of us to surrender everything to God, including all of our desires.
When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write
When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships
By Eric and Leslie Ludy
The concept of letting God write your love story is not about legalistic rule-making. Even though one may be driven by sensual passion, rules and regulations cannot save you from temptation or bad decision-making. Authors Eric and Leslie Ludy show how the only way for God to write your love story is by having a love relationship with Him first.
Every Young Man’s Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation
Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World
By Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker
These books, written by Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn, and Fred Stoeker, provide guidance in battling with our minds. In a world where sexual images and jokes crowd into our minds, how is it possible to fight the battle to remain sexually pure? The books are straight to the point, yet graphically descriptive. They are full of scripturally supported sound Biblical advice.
Pre-Marriage Questions: Getting to “Really Know” Your Life-Mate-To-Be (Heart to Heart Series)
By Bobb and Cheryl Biehl
Bobb and Cheryl Biehl have written this book in a very interesting format. The entire book contains nothing but questions that are conversation starters for you and your significant other. Together you can sit down and discuss the questions. You may not agree on all of them, but that’s okay. This exercise will give you a better understanding of the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. It is meant for people who are seriously dating or engaged.
Cracking the Communication Code
by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Lack of proper communication is one of the reasons why many relationships start out with problems. This book is a guide on how men and women in a relationship can learn to speak to each other in language they can distinctly understand – respect for him, love for her.
Audioverse.org has a few series on relationships. Look for the speakers Don Macintosh, Phil Mills, and Alan and Nicole Parker
Laugh your way to a Better Marriage
By Mark Gungor
You might recognize Mark Grungor from the YouTube series where he explains the differences between men’s and women’s brains. This series is an extremely hilarious and is practical six-hour seminar on marriage. Although geared towards married couples, many of his principles can be applied for single or dating couples. You can also find this series in book format. Visit www.laughyourway.com for more info.
If you need counseling, talk with your pastor or church youth leader. If you don’t connect with them, there are many Christian counselors widely available. You can also talk with some online via web call. Whether you are single, dating, or married, these resources can be very helpful to anyone seeking to create a godly relationship. There are many more resources available, but you can use those listed in this article as a springboard to more enriching relationships.